Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Sanguine Humour: Is this You?

SANGUINE:  Bound to the red blood of the heart, and equated to air (warm and wet).  People who are sanguine are often ruled by the heart.  They can be sensual, warm, and often sweet.  The wife of Bath, that lusty wench, was a sanguine type.  So was Falstaff.   A sanguine personality often seems to lack weight and seriousness; it can be seen as too sprightly and naiive or in extreme cases, inconsiderate of others and the reality of their cares.

Words that describe the sanguine temperment include:

Blithe
Buoyant
Cheerful
Contented
Enthusiastic
Expectant
Glad
Happy
Hopeful
Jolly   
Jovial
Merry
Optimisti
Radiant
Spirited

SANGUINE:  IS THIS YOU?

Well, wake up and smell the coffee, Pollyanna.  Not everyone is out there gathering ye rosebuds while ye may.  Some people don't have a bright side to look on, and all your good cheer does is remind them of how miserable they truly are. 

So the next time you feel like shouting "there's a bright golden haze on the meadow," keep it to yourself and read one of the books on the list.

RX SANGUINE
Bitter Books (To support the MELANCHOLIC or to correct a SANGUINE temperment)

Sobering literature, including:

All Quiet on the Western Front
Catch-22
The Man with the Golden Arm
Most Russian novels, including Crime and Punishment
Les Miserables
Madame Bovary
Jane Eyre
Oliver Twist
The Good Earth
The Gulag Archipelago

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Choleric Humour: Is this You?

CHOLERIC: Referring to the yellow bile of the liver, and considered to be fire (hot and dry).   Best exemplified by most teenagers before 11:00 a.m., and, generally, if you have read my other blog, the person I used to be married to (when he was not being phlegmatic).

Words that can be used to describe a choleric temperment include:

Acrimonious
Cantankerous
Churlish
Cross
Disagreeable
Fretful
Grouchy
Grumpy
Irascible
Irritable
Obnoxious
Peevish
Quarrelsome
Testy
Tempermental
Touchy 

CHOLERIC: IS THIS YOU?

Well cut it out! People like you are such a grand pain. You're never happy with anything anybody does for you, and you make everybody walk around on eggshells trying not to accidentally set you off.

The next time you feel that you want to give someone a piece of your mind, take one of the books on the SOUR booklist and hit yourself over the head with it until you actually have something to complain about.  

RX CHOLERIC
Sour Books (To support the PHLEGMATIC, or to correct a CHOLERIC temperment)

Transcendent Books, which tend to give one perspective on how difficult it is to live around a sour person and/or the emptiness of that kind of life, including:

Babbitt
Being and Nothingness
Brideshead Revisited
Great Expectations
Green Eggs and Ham
Lazy Tommy Punkinhead
Siddhartha
Steppenwolf
The Great Gatsby
The Man without Qualities
The Old Man and the Sea
The Stranger
Ulysses

Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Four Humours: Read Right for Your Blood Type!

At this point in this fascinating series of posts, we address

THE FOUR HUMORS (HumOUrs if you are American but want to be pretentious)

WHAT ARE THEY?

A humor is basically a personality type. According to the theory, each humour is associated with: 1) one of the body's organs, 2) a bodily fluid (not that one dummy, the one normally associated with that organ), 3) a hot/cold setting, 4) a wet/dry setting, 5) a color, 6) a flavor (sweet, sour, salty, or bitter), and one of the elements (earth, air, fire, and water).

That should be enough to get us started.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Read Right for Your Blood Type!

The lists in the next few posts on this blog are offered as general resources for self-education, and are not to be used for self-diagnosis or treatment.

Good literature may be useful in correcting serious problems of temperment due to misbalanced humours.

Therapy consists of liberal and concentrated application of subsequent chapters of an appropriate supportive (to correct a deficiency) or opposite (to mitigate an excess) novel or anthology.

However, when consumed outside of the appropriate critical context, the content or philosophy of some works may be disturbing.

Therefore, for a most effective cure, readings should be advised only by a certified graduate of a small, preferably midwestern, liberal arts college.

Moreover, if access to recognized works of literature is limited, readers should be cautioned that popular fiction should under no circumstances be substituted in equal amounts, as there are no established minimum standards for literate content in such work. 

Similarly, the use of foreign language literature may result in serious side-effects, such as the promotion of socialist economic theory.

Periodical literature or professional journal subscriptions may in some cases make an acceptable alternative treatment, again, check with your B.A. to be sure.

K. Kilbridge, B.A.